Welcome to The Drunken News.
I started this on facebook, then, after pissing off and annoying enough people, I decided to do this as a blog.
All real news outlets are a form of fiction. Not necessarily what they write, or when they deliver the facts, but what they make to seem important.
Lots of stories that have deserved media attention over the years are relegated to page eight of the newspaper if the story does not serve corporate interests.
Anyway, what I do every night is come home from the bar, drunk, and then I write about what happened.
I figure that since I am drunk, I can get away with writing anything I want, because society always forgives a drunk, whereas they could give a fuck about a hard-working person trying to make a better living for himself instead of living in some dump shambles of an art studio.
I'm too lazy and not drunk enough to write a real entry right now, so I hope you'll forgive me.
More to come later, when I feel like it.
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Author's Note: So, this was the first entry of 'The Drunken News' in blog form. Hmmmm....nothing too offensive here. I did use the 'f' word, which is a very common word in American speech, but is still offensive when it appears in print. There is no other word like it, though, which is why I like to use it.
South Park did it best in the title of one of their episodes entitled, "An Elephant Fucks a Pig". The title never appeared in the episode, but Matt and Trey had to fight to keep the title on the script with their argument being, "An Elephant making love to a pig is not the same as an elephant fucking a pig. We've all fucked pigs from one time or another. Do you make love to a pig, or do you fuck it?" So, history was made. Forgive me if it is not a direct quote, but it is close enough.
So, why did I start 'The Drunken News'? Well, 'The Onion' stopped being printed, a newspaper I truly loved, and I had to fill the void somehow. Granted, 'my newspaper' sucks in comparison, but I decided to have fun anyway, so I did.
One thing I have learned is that nobody likes to be made fun of. However, if people would just stop giving me so much material to work with, I would have discontinued writing 'The Drunken News' long ago.
Even last night provided a vast land of riches of things to write about, haha.
There is just so much to make fun of in this world, and North Beach seems to be a 'platinum rich zone' in terms of comedy. People take themselves way too seriously, so it is fun and easy to mock. Sorry, but it is.
